Researchers found that the fear of loneliness forces both men and women to settle for less in relationships, sometimes leading to bad marriages.
Bad relationships can lead to many negative consequences. Despite being aware of this fact and witnessing many marriages gone sour, people still continue to form forced relationships. In a study to understand the reason underlying this, researchers from the University of Toronto found that both men and women are forced to settle for less in relationships because of the fear of remaining single all their lives, according to a press statement.
"Those with stronger fears about being single are willing to settle for less in their relationships," said lead author Stephanie Spielmann, postdoctoral researcher in the University of Toronto's Department of Psychology. "Sometimes they stay in relationships they aren't happy in, and sometimes they want to date people who aren't very good for them. Now we understand that people's anxieties about being single seem to play a key role in these types of unhealthy relationship behaviors."
The findings were made after surveying several samples of North American adults across a wide range of ages. Some 38.8 percent reported absolutely no fear of living life alone, with another 18.4 percent worrying anxiously about "spinsterhood" and a lonely eventual death. Another 11.8 percent of respondents expressed both anxiety and relief with the vicissitudes of single life, while 6.6 percent said they worried the future might bring loneliness.
The study assessed survey respondents for susceptibility to depression, loneliness, and rejection sensitivity. On a standard psychological measure of "hurt feelings," respondents scored a median of 3.27 on the five-point scale. On their "need to belong," respondents scored a median of 3.38.
"In our results we see men and women having similar concerns about being single, which lead to similar coping behaviors, contradicting the idea that only women struggle with a fear of being single," said co-author, Professor Geoff MacDonald of the University of Toronto's Department of Psychology. "Loneliness is a painful experience for both men and women, so it's not surprising that the fear of being single seems not to discriminate on the basis of gender."
