In the latest issue of Lena Dunham’s Lenny Letter, published earlier today, Khloé Kardashian wrote an extremely personal essay titled “My Relationship with Spirituality.”
The 31-year-old reality star used the piece to discuss her relationship with God, especially during troubling times like when she lost her father at age 19 and when she made the decision to file for divorce from husband Lamar Odom.
“When you think Kardashian, devout probably isn’t the first thing that crosses your mind,” she wrote in the essay’s opening paragraph. “Believe it or not, I come from a very religious family.”
The “Kocktails with Khloé” host then explained how she went to Presbyterian and Catholic schools growing up, and that her family went to church every Sunday until she and her siblings got a little older. Her father, the late Robert Kardashian, even played gospel music in their house.
She described her father’s 2003 death as “one of the most profound experiences” of her life. “After he passed, I was bitter and angry - I was VERY angry at God,” she said. “I didn’t understand why someone who was so great, my dad - why he would be taken away.” She turned to books like “Embraced by the Light” by Betty J. Eadie and “Angels Among Us” by Ron Rhodes for help getting her through that dark period.
While Kardashian has yet to find a church that she’s “passionate” about, she does read devotionals daily from books her mother Kris Jenner buys her each year for Christmas. “The devotions are just one page each, with a quote from the Bible, a breakdown of its meaning and a daily prayer,” she said, adding that she often reads these affirmations to her glam squad. She also prays nightly - sometimes with her nieces and nephews.
However, the self-described “very spiritual person” said she had a tough decision to make when she started having troubles in her marriage to Odom. “At my core, I don’t believe in divorce, but I came to a point in my marriage where I had to make the choice to take care of my own mental and emotional well-being in order to protect myself and my happiness,” said Kardashian about her December 2013 choice to file. “I am at peace with that decision and do feel like I honored my vows to the very end. I feel that I kept the serious vows I made in front of God with every inch of my heart, which is why I am still honoring them today even though my relationship with my ex-husband is in a different place. I believe in caring for my partner - past or present - ‘in sickness and in health,’ and feel at peace with my relationship with God even after the fact.” [Note: Kardashian and Odom are still legally married, having called off divorce proceedings last fall when the former basketball player suffered a near-fatal overdose.]
“I’m thankful that I can rely on my God, who, along with my family, has led me through some of the most difficult times of my life,” she concluded.
To thank Dunham for letting her express herself, Kardashian posted a Q-and-A with the “Girls” star on her app. “Nothing is off limits and I’m cracking up,” Kardashian tweeted.