Paralympian Oscar Pistorius took the stand in his own murder trial for the first time on Monday, Apr. 7. The 27-year-old double-amputee addressed the courtroom in a tearful apology saying that he was "simply trying to protect" girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp, Today.com reports.
Pistorius is facing charges in the murder of Steenkamp after he shot her multiple times in their bathroom on Feb. 14, 2013. He claims that the shooting was in self-defense and he thought there was an intruder in the house.
"There hasn't been a moment since this tragedy happened that I haven't thought about your family," Pistorius told the courtroom as he tried to hold back tears. "I wake up every morning and you're the first people I think of, the first people I pray for. I can't imagine the pain and the sorrow and the emptiness that I've caused you and your family."
"I was simply trying to protect Reeva," he continued. "I can promise that when she went to bed that night she felt loved. I've tried to put my words on paper many, many times to write you but no words would ever suffice."
Pistorius decided to testify off camera with just audio telling the judge that he was on anti-depressants and has not been able to sleep. During his testimony, Pistorius said he's been suffering from nightmares and is haunted by the "smell of blood" and would prefer not to sleep.
The former athlete said he's hired a security guard to stand outside of his house but is still terrified at time and described a time when he "climbed into a cupboard and phoned my sister to come and sit by me."
"I'm scared to sleep for several reasons," he said. "I have terrible nightmares about things that happened that night... if I hear a noise, I wake up, just in a - in a complete state of terror."
He also opened up about his disability and how not having both of his legs has impacted his life.
"It's a difficulty, would be, when I don't have my legs on," he said. "I don't have balance. I have very limited mobility."
According to Today, Pistorius took a lot of time talking about his mobility issues when he's not wearing his prosthetic legs hoping that it would help his case so that people understand why he's so fearful of intruders and why he shot through the bathroom door.
Pistorius is expected back on the stand tomorrow.
