Troian Bellisario opened up about her past struggles with an eating disorder and self-harm to Seventeen magazine. Bellisario, known for her role as Spencer Hastings on the ABC show "Pretty Little Liars," revealed for the cover story of the February issue that her issues started when she was a teenager.
"I started self-harming when I was a junior," she revealed to Seventeen magazine. "I would withhold food or withhold going out with my friends, based on how well I did that day in school."
Just like her character, Bellisario said she wanted to be "perfect" and was afraid she wouldn't be accepted if she was anything less than that.
"It was about wanting to please my father and mother and wanting to be perfect to everybody," she said. "I just thought if I ever expressed [to my parents] any sadness or anger or anything that's going on with me, they would disown me. I kept a lot of it bottled up inside, and it turned into self-destructive behavior."
"I didn't know what was right and what was wrong, so I think I created this bizarre system of checks and balances to create order in my world. But it really backfired," she continued.
The 28-year-old actress said for years she struggled with trying to be completely perfect and credits her family and friends for supporting her and helping her overcome her issues by staging an intervention.
She said it was at that time in her life when she finally felt comfortable enough to open up to her parents about her feelings.
"For the first time, I got to sit across from my parents and say, 'I'm angry and I have a blackness inside of me. I'm raging right now and I can't handle this.'".
The actress said even though she no longer has an eating disorder and stopped harming herself, her recovery is an ongoing struggle. Bellisario even admitted that being on the show "Pretty Little Liars" has its difficulties but she is surrounded by family, friends and her cast members to keep her focused and to provide her with continued support.
