Routine Active Maintenance; that's what freelance writer and author Bob Strauss says relationships need to last a long time.
RAM is "the constant tweaking, cajoling, improving and retrofitting that keeps society (and complex machinery) running smoothly," Strauss wrote on Yahoo! for Match.com.
For the everyday man, relationship RAM simply means giving your significant other compliments. Women appreciate sincere, gracious compliments more than men do.
"I think it's terribly important to compliment your spouse or significant other on a daily basis," Josh, from New York, told Strauss. "I'm not talking about the same old 'You look nice today,' but different things each time. I've been married for five years and I make it a point to compliment my wife each day."
Strauss goes on to present tips for giving the best compliments:
Mix it up: Always saying the same "You are beautiful," every day begins to sound disingenuous after a while. Instead, "you should also throw her the occasional curve ball by complimenting her sense of humor, her dedication to her work or her taste in friends," Strauss wrote.
Be honest (but not too honest): Women tend to care more when they don't look as beautiful as they would like to, more so than men. Men should acknowledge this by not using lavish compliments to compensate.
"If your partner has been ill and therefore looks like death warmed over, don't go out of your way to compliment her on her appearance; it'll only cheapen all the other times you actually mean what you say," Strauss wrote.
Don't "cheat" on your partner, compliment wise: Giving other women compliments, such as the waitress during a romantic dinner, is a definite way to cause trouble- particularly when the man has not complimented the women he is with at all, Strauss wrote.
"In her eyes, complimenting other females- sisters, friends, co-workers, the only possible exception being her mother- will seem like flirting rather than Routine Active Maintenance," he wrote.
More compliment advice from Strauss here.
