Bigfoot, the Loch Ness monster and a franchise quarterback walk into a bar. The bartender greets the first two and quickly hands them each a beer. He stops and eyes the quarterback warily.

"Who are you supposed to be?" he barks. The football player answers, "I'm a franchise quarterback."

"Son, this is a New York Jets bar and we ain't seen one of you in 50 years."

Roll snare drum.

A legit franchise quarterback is one of the rarest commodities in all of sports. Those who have one are perennial playoff contenders for upwards of a decade and those who don't languish at the top of the draft for years on end. By my count, there are seven teams still definitively looking for their quarterback of the future. For the purposes of this article, I excluded those teams who have effective QBs at the tail ends of their career (New England Patriots, Denver Broncos, Arizona Cardinals, etc.)

New York Jets

I would say that three interceptions in eight pass attempts just about puts the kibosh on the Geno Smith era, wouldn't you? Now we know why the WVU product fell all the way into the second round. Smith has just a 65.6 quarterback rating this season and has thrown 10 picks versus 7 interceptions. Not even the addition of Percy Harvin can save this passing attack. We all know that 34-year-old Michael Vick isn't the long term answer either. Sorry, Jets fans. It looks like your search for competent quarterback play post-Joe Namath will just have to continue another year.

Tennessee Titans

Despite how much I love rookie sixth-round pick Zach Mettenberger, chances are that he is not the long-term answer at quarterback for the Titans. Non-first rounders just don't usually pan out as franchise guys. Tom Brady and Russell Wilson are the exception, not the rule. Coach Ken Whisenhunt has struggled to find and develop quarterback talent ever since Kurt Warner retired. The Titans will be looking to upgrade at the position during the offseason.

Houston Texans

The Texans have the NFL's best defensive player in J.J. Watt, the second-leading rusher in Arian Foster (766 yards) and an emerging stud at wide receiver in DeAndre Hopkins. The only thing they are missing is a franchise quarterback. Ryan Fitzpatrick is serviceable yet unspectacular. His beard is scary and unspectacular as well. A top end signal caller is really all this team is missing to take the leap into contender status. At 4-4 though, it seems unlikely that Houston will be bad enough to have a chance at a top flight QB prospect in the draft.

Oakland Raiders

Yes, second-round rookie Derek Carr has been solid this season. While he's had his ups and downs, he's also shown promise. But at 0-7, the Raiders are in line for the top pick in the draft. Has Carr shown enough promise for Oakland to pass on top quarterback prospects Marcus Mariota and Jameis Winston?

Buffalo Bills

It took just 14 games for the Bills to give up on EJ Manuel, their 2013 first round pick. Ouch, that's got to hurt. While Kyle Orton did just toss four touchdowns against the Jets on Sunday, we know he isn't the face of the franchise going forward. Similar to the Texans, the 4-3 Bills will likely not finish low enough in the standings for a shot at Mariota or Winston. Drew Brees may have been a franchise-altering free agent signing for the New Orleans Saints and the Green Bay Packers certainly got the better end of the deal when they traded for Brett Favre. But those moves are outliers when it comes to acquiring top-tier passers.

St. Louis Rams

The Rams will likely cut ties with Sam Bradford after the season. Austin Davis, like Carr in Oakland, has shown flashes of quality play, but have they been consistent enough for St. Louis to feel comfortable going forward? Davis will most likely be the Rams' starter next season but probably not for too long past that point despite Favre's recent comments. With coach Jeff Fisher likely on his way out after his third consecutive losing season, a new regime will want to bring in their own guy.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Josh McCown flamed out almost immediately. Mike Glennon is now 5-13 in career starts. Tampa Bay is in disarray at 1-6 this season. Coach Lovie Smith has had to deal with Rex Grossman, an inconsistent Jay Cutler and now this mess at quarterback throughout his coaching career. Poor guy. Someone in Tampa please give Smith a hug. He deserves it.