Former "Bachelorette" Meredith Phillips is opening up about a disease she has kept secret until now.

The 2004 ABC star said she's been battling alcoholism, but has now been sober for 150 days, she told People Magazine. She spoke candidly about her drinking habits, telling the magazine that at one point she was drinking 20 bottles of wine per week. Daily blackouts were a normal part of her life.

"For years I'd wake up every day feeling like I was hit by a truck," Phillips told People. "But I realized I was going to kill myself."

Phillips was only the second lead of the spinoff series to ABC's "The Bachelor." The 39-year-old make-up artist and model dated 25 men on her featured season of "The Bachelorette." In the end she chose Ian McKee, but the couple broke up shortly after the series in 2005.

Phillips was also a former "The Bachelor" hopeful but was rejected by Bob Guiney in the fourth season of the show as the third runner-up.

The reality television star discussed her current focus on her health and in staying sober, during the People Magazine interview. While she says she would like to lose weight, a last 10 lbs., that is not first on the list of her priorities right now. Staying sober is her main goal and focus.

The full People Magazine story including, the entire interview with Phillips, hits newstands Friday.